Better Than Ice Cream
by Divinya9
Summary: An almost romantic ice cream moment is ruined by bounty hunters. COMPLETED. V-M
1. A Name and Some Ice Cream

Genre: Romance? Action? Humor? General.

Rating: PG.

Summary: Names and Ice Cream. V/Meryl fluff? Probably with a bit of OOC'ness. A really long one-shot, except not any longer a "one shot" 'cause I can't plan things.

_Thoughts_, Author's notes, **emphasis**, title inspired by the Ice Cream song by Sarah MacLachlan.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Trigun. That's as far as it goes. :(

* * *

_Oh, God, please let the whining stop!_

"But, Meryl!"

"But **what**, Milly?" She asked again for probably the 50th time.

"It's so hot! And the store is **right there**!"

"Yeah, and not all of us are wearing white."

_Well, sorry if I had the brains to think ahead, dork. Seriously, a red leather duster is _not_ a sane choice for a friggin' desert planet!_ Meryl thought viciously at the blond who dared to speak up. She sighed mentally. Even if she was wearing the right color… er… tint, the heat of the twin suns had still managed to get to her. _Damn it_, she cursed silently. _I want a banana sundae_.

She threw up her hands and growled aloud, surprising the other two members of her party. She abruptly turned in her tracks and headed straight for the pathetic looking little shack of a store. (With its size, Meryl thought it probably had nothing of value in there, but still kept on. Hey, it had shade.) The other two said nothing of her actions, however the tall girl cheered and jumped in joy.

"Ooo… I wonder if they have pudding there…"

"Milly, it's probably a bar. They don't serve pudding there."

"Last time they did…" Meryl rolled her eyes, not wanting to think of the **last time**.

-- Begin flashback --

Pudding on the ceiling, gunpowder in the tea… that **dork** plastered out of his mind and **still** trying to negotiate with a trigger-happy bounty hunter slut. Yep. She was a woman who apparently thought she was smart enough to capitalize on the well known fact that Vash the Stampede was a womanizer by wearing little else than brightly colored plastic wrap and bullet slings.

In Meryl's mind she wasn't even pretty. But in Vash's inebriated mind **any** woman probably would have looked gorgeous, especially in sparkly colors, regardless of the slings of bullets covering up (barely) the sensitive parts.

It was in that moment Meryl felt both glad and disappointed that she was covered in white cotton.

Back to the story. Meryl had 2 derringers in her hands – 1 for that stupid woman and the other for Vash – if he got out of it alive. He had already managed to set the bounty hunter off when he groped her 5 times when she first came in. (Amazing how quick he still was when he had most likely drank a couple of dallons of beer.) She was a horrible shot, but still considerably dangerous since she had a semiautomatic rifle in her hands. Quantity, speed, and blazing fast reloading overruled quality in this case.

_Damn it, Vash!_ Meryl screamed in her mind. The fool had been too brash to grope her **again**! The woman was pissed off enough to reach a rampage. (This was interesting to think of considering she put herself into that situation.) She fired wildly into the air and Derringer Meryl fired her one shot. The rifle flew from the woman's hand and fired for the last time, the bullet ricocheting off of a metal spittoon, a metallic beam, finally hitting a rusty metal chain which held a chandelier above the bounty hunter's head. The large hollow chandelier fell and bound her, and she fell and broke her shoe.

Meryl looked dazed for a second, but then she smiled and blew the smoke out from her derringer barrel.

"Waytago, Meryl!" A slightly garbled voice cheered. Meryl looked around and found her partner sprawled out on the ground scooping out the last remains of her second pudding.

The bounty hunter regained her bearings and promptly burst into tears, hobbling away with all deliberate speed with the chandelier still on.

"Aww, Insurance Girl, you made her cry!" Vash slurred. Meryl took one derringer and aimed.

"NO, Meryl!"

_Really,_ Meryl sighed mentally. _The nerve of that guy to call me 'Insurance Girl' after we've known each other so long…_

He looked outside sadly at the direction the plastic wrap girl ran off in. Meryl took one look around the nearly decimated place that once used to be a bar. Noticing Vash not noticing anything, Meryl threw in frustration the derringer she saved especially for him at his head.

--End Flashback--

"Did you really have to throw that thing at me?" Vash whined. "I still have scars from that!" He pouted fiercely, pointing with intensity at the odd lump on his head.

"You know you deserved that."

"What did I do?! I didn't do anything!"

"EXACTLY." She growled. "You were so occupied with ogling that girl that you didn't seem to notice our **lives** were at stake!"

"Nah, I had everything under control! Honest!"

"Yeah, right." There was a jingle of bells as they walked through the entrance of the shack. "All you were thinking was when to jump her."

"How do you know that? I wasn't thinking that."

"Oh, really? Then what **were** you thinking?"

He blinked at her, then put his hand behind his neck and laughed nervously. "I—I don't remember!" That stupid, annoying, high-pitched laugh. "But I wasn't going to jump her."

"Then why **did** you?" She glared at him.

"Um… hi…" A young, confused waitress greeted as they sat down on the bar stools. "Menu? Er, I mean… Hi. I'm Divi. Here are your menus!" She smiled, embarrassed. "What'll you have?"

"Ooo… Meryl, they **do** have pudding!"

"So I'm guessing you'll have one of those," Divi smiled.

"Bring 7." Milly smiled greatly. The waitress' eyes enlarged, and then went back to normal.

"Sure. And you, sir?" Vash smiled at her.

"Plain ol' beer, thanks." Meryl was surprised –he didn't hit on the waitress. Then again, Divi looked and probably was 16 years old. AN: That's me! :P

"Great choice." She said; sounding rehearsed. "And you, M—Miss…?" A bit of doubt there. _Over what?! _Meryl felt annoyed, but let it slide.

"I don't suppose you have a banana sundae?"

Divi whispered "Back page." Meryl flipped to the other side.

"Oh, good. I'll have one."

"Okay! Thank you. I'll be right back." Divi gave a smile as she disappeared into the back room. For a seemingly small shack, inside was completely different. Spacious, warm, inviting, clean… Maybe the shack had been an illusion due to the desert heat? Maybe Meryl was just hallucinating about the inside because she was suffering from heat stroke? Then again, the three were the only customers there.

"Here you go!" Divi cheerfully announced as she came back. She held a tray of pudding in one hand, a beer and a banana sundae in the other. _Skillful _and _quick_, Meryl thought.

"Will there be anything else?" Divi smiled. Something hanging off her neck caught the light and Meryl's attention, as well as Vash's.

"That's a seahorse." He said.

"A what-what?" Divi asked, voicing aloud Meryl's question. Milly was far too occupied with her pudding to notice or care.

"Seahorse. It's a little creature that lives in the water. It's about this big—" He made an imaginary measurement using his thumb and index finger.

Divi blinked at him. "Oh, cool. I just got this because it was orange and pretty. And look!" She held up her pendant. "It wiggles!" She demonstrated. Meryl smiled at her.

"Oh, that's so cute!" Milly exclaimed, finished with over half her tray and finally paying attention to the rest of the world.

"Isn't it? Me and my best friend – er – I mean my best friend and I went to this fair—" Divi continued conversing with Milly as Vash spoke over them to Meryl.

"I didn't think anyone would remember the little things like that," he smiled.

"The se—um—"

"Seahorse?"

Meryl nodded. "Is it like salmon?"

"Not exactly. These guys live in large, deeper bodies of water." How did he know that?

"But they're so small…"

He shrugged. "That's what Rem taught me."

Rem. His surrogate mother. The woman who taught him everything she knew. Vash could never love anyone else as much as he did her…

And why did it matter? Oh, yeah, Meryl just happened to have had fallen in love with Vash.

"Your name is kind of ironic for this kind of place," he added softly.

"Ironic?"

"Yeah. One of its meanings is 'beautiful seas'." She turned to look at him and found him gazing straight back at her. He felt much too close for comfort.

"What is a 'sea'?" She asked, blushing slightly, turning away to take a little spoonful of her melting banana sundae.

"A place of spiritual nourishment or renewal." Said he. There was something wrong with the tone of his voice. It seemed more… open, inviting... incredibly sexy... She turned to him again.

"Really?"

"No —not technically. It's actually just a body of water, but from what I've read about it, it was always a place where people found solace." He paused. "I needed something like that." He was speaking in past tense.

"And you never found it, did you?" Meryl asked softly, feeling depressed for him. "Of course not. We're on a _desert_ planet."

"No. I did." He smiled. There was something wrong in his smile as well… It felt —it felt… **real**.

Wait a minute, was he talking about **her**_?_ She turned back to her sundae. No, couldn't be. One thing she never offered him was solace. She couldn't.

"You… you mentioned that there was more than one meaning to my name. Do you know any others?"

"Well, there is one more…"

"Which would be…?"

It's not as good as the first one." He warned.

The temperamental side of Meryl took over. "**Tell me**," she commanded, with a voice that demanded "don't piss me off."

He unconsciously pulled back a little. "The other meaning is 'a small, ferociously mean bird'. Well, I guess it's fitting," he grinned. AN: Falcons are mean, right? That explains a lot about the people back at my Jr. High…

A vein pulsed in Meryl's head. "Fitting?" She fumed. "I'll show you why it's fitting!" He instinctively protected his head so she punched him in his arm. Knowing his strength and tolerance for pain it probably made little harm.

But he still flattered her. "OW!" He was about to tell her that it was what she asked for so she shouldn't have hit him, but when he looked up she was gone. He blinked and looked around, realizing all was full of silence. He turned around and found Milly and Divi looking back at him.

"She's gone to the bathroom." Divi explained.

"Did it work, Mr. Vash?" Milly asked. Divi's eyes widened again as she realized who he was, and an eyebrow fell to question.

Vash chose to ignore that. "The first part did – I thought it did, but then she asked me about the other meaning." Milly shook her head.

"See, Mr. Vash, I told you Meryl would ask about the second one!"

"I hoped she wouldn't."

"What are the both of you trying to do?" Divi asked. The two others looked at her. "Er, sorry. You don't have to tell me, I'll go away." She smiled nervously.

"No, please stay Ms. Divi." Milly called back as the girl started inching away. "Well, Meryl and Mr. Vash have liked each other for a long time but both Mr. Vash and Meryl have been very busy so they hadn't had much time together but now that they're not busy they're still too shy and I WANT MERYL AND MR. VASH TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER!!!" Vash and Divi stepped back as they watched Milly shake her fist in the air at the ceiling, standing as tall as she could. Vash hoped Meryl didn't hear that in the restroom.

Divi gasped. "OH! I see, you two are trying to get you—" she pointed at Vash, "and Meryl hooked up!" She laughed.

Vash pressed his index fingers together, looking down and blushing. "Eh, well, things aren't going as planned."

"Well, in my opinion you both are acting like people my age. Especially you – and you've been around for a while."

Vash blinked at her. "Do I look **that **old?"

"I think you should just tell her that you like her." Divi offered.

"Yeah, Mr. Vash! That's what I've been telling all along."

"But—I thought you girls liked romantic stuff."

"If she's not getting it, obviously it's time to do something a bit more direct." Divi reasoned. "She seems like an awfully direct person, anyway."

Meryl walked out. _Were they talking about me?_ She thought, only hearing the last part that Divi had said.

"Hey there! I had a feeling you got lost or something!" Vash laughed. Meryl glared at him.

Divi whispered to him, "Maybe you should stop pissing her off first, no?"

"I do this when I'm nervous, okay?" He whispered back.

Divi shook her head. "For some reason I don't think it helps."

Meryl sat back down, looking at her totally liquid ice cream. "Oh, eww…" Vash pulled out a straw (from where is anyone's guess) and stuck it in the tall glass that the sundae was served in and took a loud sip.

"It's drinkable now." He smiled. He handed Meryl another straw. Meryl didn't know whether to feel disgusted or not. "Hey, it's actually pretty good!"

Was he **trying** to scare her? She smiled nervously and pushed the now drink toward him.

"No, no, it's yours."

"But you drank out of it!"

"I used a straw! I have no germs, I swear!"

_Eww… backwash_… Meryl thought.

Divi asked Meryl "Would you like another one?" Meryl sighed.

"You know," Vash started once he realized she wasn't going to try drinking it. "You should try things. It makes you more—" he stopped suddenly and turned toward the door. "Everybody get DOWN!"

For Meryl everything slowed down indefinitely. Divi fell to her knees, and the frills of her skirt fluttered softly in the wind she created. The headband she was wearing – black and white checkers – got covered by her falling long black hair and her hands – long fingers, large palms, short nails, no polish – as she protected herself. Next was Milly. Milly turned around, her long brown hair whipping the wind as she pivoted around on her heel toward the counter. She closed her eyes as her mouth opened, taking in a long inhale for the scream that would most likely follow. Her green jacket stretched and tension lines were created, green waves falling down her back. There was a very distinctive "whoosh" through the hair. Space was being cut and slashed through – pushed and pulled apart – violated as the impending projectile ripped apart sound… and time...

Then… there was Vash. He had turned away from Meryl, making sure that the other girls got down safely. _He thinks I can take care of myself_, Meryl thought. _And I can… but why can't my body move? I know what's going on – I can see what's going on – I can FEEL it! But I can't respond!_ His blond spikes swayed as he turned – searching, scouting – back to Meryl. What she first noticed were his eyes.

They were aquamarine – bright with vitality, but darkening with anticipation and worry. The light shone off his irises, the thin lines networking through making his eyes appear as a type of living crystal.

They came ever closer.

* * *

Well, useful information about me: I'm an "artist", a programmer, and a general geek. Vash/Meryl forever!


	2. A Confession and A Car Chase

Genre: Romance? Action? Humor? General.

Rating: PG.

Summary: A confession and a car chase. Chapter inspired by Home Shopping Network. :P

_Thoughts_, Author's notes, **emphasis**, title inspired by the Ice Cream song by Sarah MacLachlan.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Trigun. That's as far as it goes. :(

Pre-Chapter Notes: Erm, I changed Mary Sue into Divi. I like Divi much, much better.

* * *

Being tackled by the man she loved wasn't exactly the event she wanted to include in her incredibly romantic day, but she had to admit it was better than being sprayed with bullets.

Vash had lunged forward at Meryl after he made sure the other girls were safe and brought her into his embrace. She saw his eyes as they focused in on her and then she closed her own as they both fell backwards. A moment of silence, then came the all too familiar sounds of bullets tearing through the walls. There was a strange sensation as his arms grasped her. Corny as it seemed, and even in the situation they were in, the embrace felt so right and so good.

Maybe it was because she had only dreamed of that moment before.

_Why did it have to happen _this _way?_ She sighed mentally. Things with her seemed to happen in the near worst possible way. Then again, she had gotten this sort of luck from **him**. Even with her resistance to his charms, he had still rubbed **something** off on her.

They fell to the ground as the bullets hit the counter.

Knowing he was probably twice her size and partly machine, she should have been smashed. But Vash had fallen to his knees and crouched, sure to have Meryl protected from the gunfire using his own body as a shield. She clutched at him blindly, her hands passing over the exposed skin of his face as she tried to hold on.

Then, as soon as it happened, the barrage of bullets stopped.

Meryl opened her eyes and saw him hovering above her. With the way he was holding her she felt nearly suspended in air. He looked down at her, and both were held captivated for some time. Awareness of just how close in proximity to each other they were, both felt a tinge of blush take over and looked away toward the entrance, which at that moment fortuitously burst open, revealing the more or less obvious source of the bullets.

Meryl groaned out loud.

How were some bounty hunters stupid enough to try and capture Vash a second time around? Meryl recognize the leader, clad in a tight black leather body suit (totally improper for the climate, but so was Vash's…), holding a black whip and accompanied by 3 accomplices, all of which had long black dusters, a bandanna around their mouths and noses, and semiautomatic rifles. The plastic wrap girl (missing the plastic wrap) got even smarter and brought her brothers.

"Ha ha ha ha!" She laughed evilly, cracking the whip for a much desired dramatic effect. "I have you now, Vash the Stampede!"

_I can't believe this,_ Meryl thought, exasperated. She looked up at the man with the 60 billion double dollar bounty on his head, expecting him to be drooling as he always did whenever he saw a scantily clad woman walk by, but she was surprised to see him as irritated as she was.

Meryl heard the female bounty hunter gasp, and Meryl refocused on her. "It's **you**!" The leathered woman hissed, holding up the hilt of her whip, pointing at Meryl and trembling with anger. 3 rifles pointed at Meryl's head and Vash turned to put her behind him.

"NO! I'm not going to let you hurt Meryl!" Milly shouted, standing up, holding and ready with her stungun aimed at the 4 intruders. Out of shock the 3 rifles aimed at the woman who apparently wasn't there before. The arms that held Meryl released her gently, and Vash stood up fully, holding his arms fashioned in a sign of surrender.

"Neither am I." He declared. Meryl got to her feet quickly and was about to protest that it was her decision to make whether she got hurt or not, but then Vash stopped her, moving so he blocked her again from the potentially dangerous bounty hunters. He said in a voice of both firm resolution and weariness, "I'm not going to let you get hurt." He stepped forward and the three armed men moved, one guarding Vash, another guarding Meryl, and the last Milly. The woman wielding the whip walked up, and (much to Meryl's chagrin and both Milly and Vash's surprise) did a very practical thing by frisking Vash.

Vash felt a tiny bit uncomfortable as the woman felt him up, but at the same time wondered how it would be like had **other **hands done so.

The woman extracted Vash's gun from his side pocket and yelled at the man guarding Vash to tie him up. Pulling out 2 pieces of rope the man bound Vash's legs together, and the other rope bound Vash's arms **across** his chest. Vash blinked at the man. "Aren't you doing this the wrong way?" The man silently shook his head. Giving a pout Vash looked very much like a petulant child.

"Alright," the whip lady yelled in an accent Vash couldn't quite place… "Bobby, Billy! Grab him and throw him in the car!" They did so, groaning along the way as they dragged the heavy load. "Gunther! You stay here and make sure these girls don't move. And if they do, shoot them, but her—" she pointed at Meryl. "First." She grinned maniacally.

_What a way to hold a grudge_, Meryl thought.

The three bounty hunters fled the scene, carrying Vash away. While Meryl and Milly held still in fear of getting shot by Gunther, they heard the sound of an engine starting up and the screech of the wheels on the desert floor as someone slammed on the gas pedal.

In what seemed like eternity the sound faded away. _No,_ Meryl thought despairingly, _I've lost him again._

"Meryl…" Milly whispered, frightened and not knowing what to do.

"I can't lose him again, Milly." Meryl said, her determination as solid as bedrock. Meryl reached inside her cape and Gunther aimed his gun and bent his knees to absorb the kickback from the rifle. There was a loud blast of sound and Milly let out a deafening, shrill scream as both Meryl and the armed man fell to their knees.

_Oh, no, not now! Oh, God, please not now! Please, I haven't even told him that I—that I love him!_

Logic suddenly hit Meryl. _Wait, what the hell?_ Nothing hurt, nothing seemed like it was bleeding… and even if Gunther had missed his shots, why would he have fallen if Meryl never discharged either gun in her hands? Meryl looked up and Milly stopped screaming.

"Divi?!" Both women shouted in relief. The girl had disappeared when Vash was getting kidnapped isn't it funny how you can kidnap an adult?, crawling unseen to the back room and out the back door. After she hid in the shadows cast by the side of the building opposite the twin suns and listened to all of what was going on. Knowing wisely that she couldn't take on all 4 armed bounty hunters a whip is considered an **armed** weapon, right? You do need an arm to use it… or maybe not, Divi waited until they left with Vash (also wisely knowing that the Humanoid Typhoon could very well take care of himself) to attack the remaining thug. Luckily, he was standing right in front of the inward opening double door bar entrance, so all Divi had to hope for was to kick down with all her might the doors and knock down (and out) the armed man. If she didn't knock him out, Meryl and Milly could take care of him.

But she didn't need their help. "Miss me?" Divi smiled brightly.

"Did we ever!" Milly replied gleefully as she climbed over the counter. "You were really sneaky back there, Miss Divi!"

Meryl was still on the floor with her hands covering her face.

"Meryl?" Milly asked gently. "I'm sure Mr. Vash is going to be okay."

"No, Milly…" She paused to inhale. "When we let him go before he disappeared for 2 years. The last time he left us he had to–had to… that man…" Meryl was nearly at tears. "He's never okay! Wherever that man goes trouble always follows him!"

_And even if we don't help him really, I just want to be there with him just… Then again I… all I do is get in his way…_

Divi noticed Meryl's faltering resolution. "If… if I could give you a chance—" Both Meryl and Milly looked up as Divi put her question gently. "A chance to go after him, how much would be willing to risk to take it? Would you be willing to admit that you're in love with the most wanted man in the galaxy?" How Divi knew that was beyond Meryl. Was she really that obvious?

"What?! Divi, you're wasting time! If you have something that can help me, then give it to me!"

"You're wasting **my** time, Miss Meryl. All I need is 3 or 4 little words."

"I don't have time for this!" Meryl shouted angrily as she got to her feet.

"You don't have this either." Divi said, jingling a set of car keys. "What are you going to do, **run** after him? 3 or 4 words, Miss Meryl. That's all it takes to get the car." She crossed her arms across her chest as a sign of the finality of her ultimatum.

"Yes, fine." Meryl sighed. _It's about time I said it out loud._ "I love—" It wasn't supposed to be all that hard to say 3 words, but **those** 3 posed a bit of a problem. It wasn't that she didn't mean it (oh, with every cell in her body she **did**), but Meryl worried that if she did indeed say it the world as she knew it would come crashing down. She swallowed her cowardice. "I love him." A moment's silence as smiles crossed both Divi's and Milly's faces.

"Alrighty then!" Divi declared loudly. "Come on! Every second we delay he's **that** much farther! Let's go!" Meryl groaned and rolled her eyes. Divi and Milly fled the bar and retrieved the car, with Meryl tailing behind. Meryl stopped, realizing something and picked up the fallen rifle as an afterthought.

_A _jeep_? Divi had a jeep just laying around?_ Meryl wondered in amazement as the engine roared and revved with impatience. "For a 16 year old girl you sure do have a lot of things," Meryl pointed out suspiciously.

Divi shrugged. "I don't have a permit…"

_That makes me fell a _lot_ better knowing that you're driving_. Meryl thought with growing apprehension. Divi slammed on the gas pedal and the car jumped forward. The open air vehicle's windshield was the only thing protecting the females from the harsh desert sand and wind. "How do you know where you're going?!" Meryl shouted over the howl of wind and jeep.

"The other car left tracks!" Divi shouted back. Meryl looked to where Divi pointed and found the tracks bored into the sand.

_Well, that's convenient. _With the demon speed Divi was driving at it wasn't long before the dark shimmer of the abducting car was seen in the sand storm it left behind it.

* * *

Even with the whipping lashes of wind and the interference of sand blown upward by the spinning tires of the car Vash was taken in, the Plant could still hear the distinct sound of another engine and of sand being crushed underneath the weight of the different car. Judging by how quickly the sounds were getting louder, the other car was coming up **very** quickly.

Vash looked behind him in hopes that a certain, recognizable insurance girl was in that car.

She was.

"Oh, crap!" Vash yelled, ducking behind his seat and making his 3 captors turn around. As he cowered in fear his head hit the side of the car as the car swerved to avoid getting hit by the gun in the small woman's hand. Or rather, rifle. **Their** rifle. A volley of shots fired off as the 2 armed male captors fired back.

Both cars swerved from side to side to avoid punctured tires, shot (literally) engines, and death. However, Divi and gang were at a bit of a disadvantage, knowing how the previous car kicked up the sandy dust, blurring their vision. Moving side to side did not help to increase the visibility.

The girls shrieked as a barrage of bullets embedded themselves into the metal of the fast moving car. Meryl heard the distant sound—pop-pop-pop—and warned Divi to move, but it was too late.

* * *

The woman driving the car laughed harshly after a minute of silence. Her brothers cheered and whooped as they realized that the other car was defeated.

Vash sat alone in his worry. _They can't be dead…_ He tried to make himself believe. _They're too strong for that…_ It was many, many iles of silence as the Plant strained to hear the sounds of the other car. Then, the car stopped abruptly.

"Finally!" The woman shouted in relief. "We're here."

The brothers jumped out of the car and dragged Vash back to their apparent hiding. Both groaned and one of the brothers spoke up in a laboring voice, "He's **really** heavy!" Vash probably would have protested had he not noticed the peculiar accent in the man's voice. It was the same as the woman's, but Vash still couldn't tell what it was or what was wrong with it.

"Get going, you weaklings!" The woman lashed out, snapping her whip like a slave driver, which she definitely played and looked the part of (That or some sort of sadomasochistic mistress… but probably not).

All of them got inside their safe house and the brothers dropped Vash in the center of a barren room (except for a washer, dryer, and laundry basket).

"Gah!" Vash groaned as pain spread through his backside. _Ow,_ he whined in his own mind, annoyed about not being able to rub the affected spots. _Why did they have to tie my hands in _front_?! _If and when he was tied up the captors would always tie his hands at his **back**, which would eventually lead to their downfall because he could always get out of it. But this time was a different situation.

Suddenly Vash felt an evil force emerge, and he looked up. Since the light was from behind Vash first saw the dark outline of the woman with some sort of object in her hand. Slowly things came to a clear, and after Vash looked again at the mysterious object he swiftly made his way backward, only to be stopped by the wall. She grinned maliciously and held up a black cloth with her other hand—probably to gag the screams to come from the impending torture.

Vash could only whimper as she came closer.

He took a double look at the weapon and mentally sighed in relief. _There aren't any outlets!_ He thought happily. Then he noticed the lack of a cord. _Cordless?! It's a cordless?! Curse human genius!_ First the ingenious placement of his hands, now this… "Wh—what are you going to do with that?" He asked, laughing nervously.

She held up the cloth. "With this?" She asked, sounding genuinely confused. Vash shook his head. She looked at her other hand and laughed. For a short while it was a pleasant, normal laugh, but then it grew more psychotic, as if she remembered she was supposed to be evil. "With **this**?" She grinned again, 2 puffs of steam coming out of the cordless over-sized iron she held in her hand. She laughed.

She then stopped and shook her head, apparently tired of playing evil. She reached above Vash's head and pulled down an ironing board. "What does it **look** like I'm doing, Vash the Stampede?" She laid out the black cloth and worked out the wrinkles. Vash laughed nervously again. "I'm a maid," she explained. "Erm, I used to be, I mean. It gets really boring, you know? You clean other people's mansions, wash other people's clothes and **iron**—" she sighed. "Wash their pretty cars, water their expensive plants… and worst of all deal with their brats! All this for a pittance! It wasn't worth it for me, you know? But, thanks to you, I'll get **my own** mansion, **my own** pretty car, **my own **expensive plants…"

Great. It wasn't for revenge, it wasn't payback for destroying cities, nor was it for a "good cause"… She and her brothers were going to turn him in because of their own greed. Vash groaned and let his head droop. At least this kind of people could be easily foiled somehow. He just wasn't sure when.

"You know Vash—" Since when did she get on friendly terms with him? "I like you. You're kind of cute! It's a shame to see such a good looking guy like you have to go to jail and all…"

"So don't turn me in." Vash flashed a smiled, hoping his pearly whites would win her over.

"What, and just give up on 60 **billion**? You wish, buster." She laughed. Vash's hopes were dashed.

"I thought you liked me." Vash mock-pouted.

"Oh, I do! That's why I'm waiting a night before we head off to Farland."

_Farland?!_ That was the place that Vash had been trying to avoid since the July Incident. _The bane of my recent existence_, he thought grimly. Farland was the government headquarters of the entire world.

"This will be fun, no?" The ironing woman giggled. Vash suddenly realized what was wrong with her voice.

* * *

Yay, end chapter 2! Anyway, um… about Knives [since I guess this is after the anime series]… Use your imagination. But positively :) Oh, and the iron thing seemed a bit random, no? My mom bought from HSN the EuroPro iron or something gaudy like that. It's definitely over-sized. It's bigger than my head! --; (it's not cordless, though). It's still in the box.


	3. Chance Meeting, Adrenaline and a Prayer

Summary: The girls find some help and get in more trouble and Vash is on his way to be turned in...

_Thoughts_, Author's notes, **emphasis**, title inspired by the Ice Cream song by Sarah MacLachlan.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Trigun. That's as far as it goes. :(

Pre-Story Notes: Erm, I wanted to include Knives in here, so he's going to be a **bit** OOC. Oh, also I got overly fluffy and philosophical, and thus slightly boring. If you want to skip over the random parts, feel free to do so. Sorry for keeping you waiting!

* * *

Angelarms: Thanks for reviewing again! My villains are funny? :) I hoped they would be entertaining!

Cherry Blossom Princess2: Thanks for the second review! I'm **really** glad you're not picky. It makes it so there's less pressure on me. Pressure is not a good thing, no!

Neptune Butterfly: I haven't forgotten Kuroneko in this one BWAHAHA!!!

dark-pyro-angel2: O.o is this soon enough? ::smiles nervously::

Neko-Yuff16: ::sad eyes:: Wolfwood! Yay, Vash and Meryl FOREVER and ::pffbt:: to those who say no! BWAHA!

DailyMassacre: I must ask how you got your name... Dun dun dun indeed. :)

* * *

Vash gaped at the woman. Her voice -the same pitch, the same tone, the same mellow feel (when the woman wasn't evil) that Divi had. Even more connections were made -the hair was as black as Divi's, the eyes were shaped similiarly, and the color of their irises were almost exactly the same hue and value. Vash was horrified as it dawned on him that this woman and her brothers were so ruthless enough to harm their own flesh and blood.

"You've finally realized it, huh?" The ironing woman asked when she noticed the expression on his face. She sighed. "My name is Lani," she smiled, extending her hand. "Oh, yeah... sorry." She giggled, which turned into a witch-like cackle as she decided to be evil again.

"Why would you do that? Why would you shoot at your own family?"

She looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "Divi... was an unexpected bundle of surprises. Have you noticed the rather large age gap between my sister and I? She was doomed to be different from the start. She chose to be where she is. It's a shame it had to be this way." Lani stared at the wall in deep thought and silence fell around the room, except for the sounds of their breathing. Lani closed her eyes and turned back to Vash. "The boss said you'd catch on." She said, almost as a praise.

"Who would that be?" Vash asked, not so surprised to find out that there was more behind the 4-person operation.

"You think I would actually **tell** you?" She laughed. "You're a silly boy. Now, rest up, because tomorrow's going to be a **very** exciting day!" She patted him on the head -or hair- and left the room with the black cloth and iron.

_At least she left the light on..._ Vash looked around the room. What could he do with a washer, dryer, laundry basket and a pull down ironing board? _I could wash my clothes if I could get myself untied_, he sighed. No windows and only 1 door, which by the sounds of the brothers talking outside Vash figured to be heavily guarded. Vash sighed out loud again, as fatigue and worry (as 3 certain female individuals came into mind) drained him of energy and the ability to think clearly of the current situation.

* * *

Meryl massaged her closed eyes as she tried to asses their situation at hand. "How," she asked again, just to release some of her ever growing pent up rage. "How can you have a spare tire, but no jack?!"

Divi wisely or not chose to ignore her. She was just happy that the bullets had hit the car and blown out a tire and not them. "Hey, at least I know where they went. We can wait for someone to find us or we can take a 10 hour walk to get to Farland."

_Farland?!_ Meryl thought. If Vash got turned in it would be the end of him. The end of **her** life, her **existence** because she had fallen so hard for him, invested too much emotional stake in him, spent a large part of her life obsessing over him [it was true even though she wouldn't admit it to herself], and he **still** didn't know that she loved him.

Would she ever see him again? Would she ever hear from him again? Would they lock him up forever behind a cold, concrete jail cell or would they exterminate him on the spot? Oh, if only they knew the person she felt lucky enough to get to know, if only they knew how many more lives he had saved than indirectly destroyed, that -yes, it may have been absurd, but- he **had** unintentionally destroyed both cities of July and Augusta. Both times he was set up, both times he had been the victim, not the culprit!

But no, they didn't know. And no one was **willing** to know if they could get their hands on the $$60 billion bounty that had been so graciously bestowed on his head.

"Meryl? Are—are you alright? You look pale..." Milly asked worriedly.

Meryl turned on her heel and faced Divi head on. "Where is Farland?!" She asked, sounding more demanding and harsh than she realized.

Divi looked slightly down (as she was 6'30" and Meryl an even 5 feeles tall), her brilliant turquoise eyes widening in fear. She gulped, and as she lost the ability to speak she pointed in the direction of the setting suns.

Meryl took off in a dead run, refusing to acknowledge the two female voices that called out her name, begging her to return.

_I'm not going to lose you again, Vash. Even if I have to take on the entire government by myself, I will **not** let them take you._

* * *

Milly and Divi stared at the continually shrinking image of the short woman running after the setting suns.

"I've never seen Meryl like that before..." Milly commented, blinking in amazement.

Divi shrugged. "Love does crazy things to you." She sighed. "So what do we do now?" Divi winced. "She really **did** run after him."

"Hmm..." Milly hummed as she stretched out her arms and leaned backwards into her seat. "I don't know. I have a feeling that someone will help us very soon." She winked at Divi, who stared back in wonder.

5 minutes later, as if on cue, the sounds of a churning engine made itself apparent. A familiar choppy-haired blond was seen in the driver's seat, complete with his infamous scowl. He noticed the stranded females and stopped.

"Mr. Knives!" Milly shouted and waved her hands in the air, even though he was only 15 feeles away.

He got out of his car and threw a jack at Divi. It landed neatly before her feet. Milly jumped out of her car and ran toward the blond. "Stay away from me!" His warning failed as Milly nearly tackled him. "Get... off... me... Spider..." He choked, barely able to breath in Milly's gigantic bear hug. "Just because my idiot brother rendered me incapable of murdering you humans," he said as he caught his breath. Divi stared in question as Knives spewed out his now harmless ranting. "That does **not** mean I despise any of you less."

Milly was unfazed. "But you came!" She smiled.

"I only came here willingly to escape the wretched hellhole you 3 so generously dumped me in." He replied, his voice as icy and cold as his vivid blue eyes were. That was a lie and they both knew. Erm, he's happy working in a geoplant? I suck at writing for Knives. "Where's the short-tempered puny spider?" He asked. "Do I want to know?" He added in fear of getting disgusted.

"She's running after Mr. Vash." Milly answered. Knives groaned. "Mr. Knives, what happened to your face?" Milly asked innocently. There were marks and scratches all along the right side of his face.

He growled in reply. "You really want to know?! This little varmint attacked me and wouldn't get out of my car!" He pointed viciously at the passenger seat of his car, where sat a peaceful looking little black cat.

"Nyao?" It yawned in greeting at Milly.

"Uh, Ms. Milly! I kind of need your help here!" Divi pointed at the (what was to her) incredibly heavy jeep.

Milly smiled at Knives. "I'm sorry, Mr. Knives, but I have to go now!" She tackle-hugged him again and ran back to her car.

Before he left Knives yelled "Take this evil familiar of Satan with you!", throwing the innocent black kitty by the scruff of its neck (acquiring a few more scratches) at the girls. Milly safely caught it in her loving arms.

"That was random," Divi said off-handishly after Knives was gone, with a subtle suspicious undertone.

"The kitty?" Milly asked, scratching said object contentedly between the ears. It purred in delight.

"No. How a man you know just happened to come to the right place, has the right tool, right at the time when we need it?!"

"Oh. Well, you're just lucky, Ms. Divi!" Milly giggled, setting down the kitty in the back seat and cranking the jack, effortlessly lifting the car.

Divi felt kind of angry at how all these coincidences weren't explained, but she then thought of better things. "Hey, Ms. Milly? How far can Meryl run?"

"Meryl? Oh, Meryl has a lot of stamina from chasing Mr. Vash around so much, so I think she can run pretty far. Why do you ask?"

"I was hoping we'd catch up to her before she collapses so she wouldn't be unconscious and/or too tired when we meet up with Vash."

"Meryl won't collapse from running, I'm sure of it. She wouldn't give up on Mr. Vash so easily." Milly and Divi finished replacing the blown out tire with the new one. "But we should still help Meryl get to him faster!" Milly giggled.

Divi agreed wholeheartedly, glad to be back in a fully functional car.

* * *

_Damn it!_ Meryl screamed at herself. _Why didn't I ask that girl how far away it would be?!_ Although she wasn't about to give up any time soon, fatigue was slowly but surely catching up to her. With her luck (which was actually his) she had probably run only 2 miles and 15 degrees off course. The fading suns were nearly gone, and Meryl had a hard time distinguishing things on the dry, hard landscape. Meryl tripped over a rock and her body slammed onto the desert floor.

With the adrenaline rushing she didn't feel any pain -except remorse. "Argh!" She screamed aloud. "Stupid rock!" She continued screaming, kicking away the obstructive rock. "What am I **doing**?!" She groaned. "Why am I **running** after him?!" _Oh, I can't be **that** deep in love with him..._ She groaned again.

She was possessive. She was running after him because she fell so hard for him and she wanted him back. She was obsessive. Her body wouldn't succumb to fatigue because she didn't have time to feel tired –all she kept thinking about was him. Meryl breathed deeply.

Was she that pathetic?! This was **Vash**! That droopy-eyed, wimpy-looking, bristle-headed, promiscuous, donut-freak-of-a-man!

Yes. It **was** Vash. She was getting defensive again, even in her own head. _Damn it, I never thought that dork would affect me so much._ She thought bitterly. She was obsessive, and she was possessive, but both in equal parts. She was also sensible, and she unknowingly kept a fine and delicate balance between possession and obsession, and luckily in between the two extremes was love. Gah, I'm so corny XD

_Argh,_ she groaned mentally, putting the heel of her palm on her forehead, as she did whenever she was annoyed. _I'm going crazy_. She **was** crazy, for Vash, that is.

Before she could dwell on tangents any further, Meryl heard the tire tracks and Divi shouting at her.

"Ms. Meryl, are you okay?!"

The car screeched to a stop and both inhabitants of the car jumped out. That's funny, where did the black cat Milly was holding come from?

"Meryl, Meryl! What happened?!" Milly asked worriedly.

Meryl smiled weakly. "A stupid rock made me lose my footing."

Milly extended a hand out to Meryl and the fallen woman got up. "Come on, we've got to go get Mr. Vash right now!"

"Erm..." Divi interrupted. "I don't think that's a good idea. There are a lot of bandits out here, especially at night."

"Bandits?" Meryl scoffed. "I think we can take care of a couple of stupid bandits. We don't need to stop."

"Oh, really?" A dark voice said from the shadows. "How do you three girls intend on taking us out?" An army of men laughed.

Meryl groaned inwardly and was glad she had reloaded all her derringers.

* * *

"God I hope the girls are okay..." Vash whispered quietly to himself.

He felt stupid for not being able to get out of this situation. It seemed simple enough, all that were tied up were his hands and legs, and he still had his gun arm, so why wasn't an escape plan formulating?

Well, for one thing he wasn't an escape artist, two he had nothing sharp on him or near him, and thirdly it was already morning by the time Vash woke up at 8AM.

The door burst open in front of him. (Lani liked to make loud entrances, it seemed) "Rise and **shine**, my lovely $$60 billion prize!" She smiled, eyes gleaming with evilness. "It's time to turn you in!"

"Isn't there any way we can talk this over?" Vash whined.

Lani stopped for a moment, in deep consideration. "No." Vash smiled nervously. "Billy, Bobby, come here! It's time to cash in!" The two brothers groaned.

"Hey," Vash said, annoyed. "You could untie my legs and we'd all be happy."

"I don't trust you well enough to do that. You could have a few tricks up your sleeve that I wouldn't have known about." She pointed out, smiling. "Hmm... I probably should have searched you better..." she added rather huskily, eyeing him.

Okay. Creepy.

"Bobby! Billy!" She screamed. "Haul your butts in here!"

10 minutes of groans, grumbles, complaints, pleas and refusals later, the engine revved and the abducting car set off on its destination.

"How--"

"No."

"That's not what I was going to ask. How long is it going to take to get there?" Vash asked.

"Approximately 3 hours." Either Billy or Bobby answered.

3 hours. Would God answer his prayer that a very special insurance girl be ready and waiting there for him in Farland to take him back home in 3 hours?

With his luck...

* * *

::Sigh:: This was... kinda late... Sorry. Anyway, I've drawn a picture of Divi on my website if anyone wants to Yep. 3 choices: a pencil sketch in Roughs, you know what's in the Inked, and a spiffy GIMP-colored pic is in the Originals. Yay.


	4. Imitators, Explosions and a New Father

Summary: Complications turning Vash in, Inepril all over again?

_Thoughts_, Author's notes, **emphasis**, title inspired by the Ice Cream song by Sarah MacLachlan.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Trigun. That's as far as it goes. :(

Pre-Story Notes: I suck at writing gunfights ::sobs:: And when did I get so boring?! ::sobs again:: Erm, anyway, I took some liberties with Knives and Milly... You'll see.

* * *

angelarms: ::glomps reviewer:: Aww, you're so nice! Thankies for reviewing all my chapters. And here, an update!  
  
Joshua Glass: And here's more! ::cheers for Vash and Meryl too:: YAYRAH!  
  
SapphireWhiteTiggress: ::glomps reviewer:: You have no idea how happy your question made me! I meant to answer it today, but I rambled on... so... Bwaha you'll just have to wait for the next chapter!

Roganu-chan: ... uh, here you go! ::steps away::

Cherry Blossom Princess2: ::glomps reviewer:: thankies for you too for looking at all this stuff! And look, new chappie!

Puchiko2: ::bows:: Thank you, thank you. My characters flow. That's awesome. I tried to keep it un-boring...

Neptune Butterfly: :] I am pleased that you have been appeased. That kitty is one devious feline, he is. He's SORT OF your muse, eh? I don't have a muse besides... Vash. And Meryl. Hmm... So corny=funny? Well, this chappies really "funny" then XD

Pyro: XD Staccato?! XD XD XD Thank you for amusing me today. O.O Not fast enough? Oh, sorry... Uh... uh... ::runs far away for protection and gets Meryl's megaphone:: SORRY! I HAVE AN UPDATE NOW, IS THAT OKAY?!

* * *

Milly yawned and rubbed her blurry eyes. She pulled down a sleeve to look at her watch.

7:35 am.

"Girls?" She called out. "Girls, it's morning!"

Meryl groaned and groggily scowled, working out the kinks in her neck and massaging her shoulders. Divi yawned and stretched out, empty derringers and the black cat falling off of her skirt. The girls were all tired, as they should have been from their ordeal the night before.

-- Begin Flashback --

Meryl stood ready with her hands near her hidden derringers, as did Milly with her secret large stungun. Divi sat nervously in the driver's seat with her foot ready to hit the gas pedal of the still running jeep.

There was so little light, and not any of the girls could tell how many bandits there were. Milly probably had about 30 shots and Meryl had her 50, that should be well enough, right? Bandits didn't move around in herds, did they?

"Surround them." The leader commanded. Feet on the sand shuffled and pistols cocked. "Kill the engine," he commanded Divi. "Get out of the car. Put your hands up, all of you girls." The three girls stood back to back to back and tried to look around them. Slowly their eyes adjusted to the darkness and they saw faint outlines of the intruding men. "Alright men," the leader grinned. "Take anything you want –But that feisty woman is mine."

Something inside Meryl snapped. Maybe it was the situation -a man wanting to take advantage of a good woman -or something else that oddly enough reminded Meryl of her frustration with Vash. It wasn't that Vash had taken advantage of her, it was that he didn't... Okay, well, Meryl recently tried to make it obvious that she cared for the infamous outlaw, that she would stay by his side and never run away even if her life depended on it. And what did he repay her with for her kindness? He made fun of her. He continued to annoy the hell out of her. That fool wouldn't know a good woman if one hit him on the head, and she did, several times! He just never got the point. No, that dork never showed appreciation for the strong, noble, virtuous Meryl. That dork went after women dressed in brightly colored plastic wrap.

"Men..." Meryl growled underneath her breath. Both Milly and Divi could feel the anger fermenting inside the small woman. "You underestimate us," Meryl called out to the leader. She reached inside her cape and pulled out a derringer.

The men readied to fire, but took another look.

The leader laughed. "What? You plan to take me out with that wimpy-looking toy?"

_This is no toy_, Meryl thought angrily. _I'll prove it._ "Yes." The men laughed. Meryl fired.

Now gunless and silent the leader stared in awe for a moment. Then all hell broke loose.

Milly whipped out her stungun and took down the men on her side, and Meryl continued to disarm the men on her side. Divi took one of Meryl's slings and started to deal with the men facing her. _That girl has more to her than meets the eye..._ Meryl thought, amazed at how well the girl was performing. _I didn't even feel it detach!_ The three females became one living, breathing unit -watching out for each other, reading intuitively the body language and reacting accordingly. [Even the kitty played its part, freaking out the bandits who dared to get close to the car and giving them a quick swipe at the face with its extended claws.]

Even still with the silent warnings from the other girls, a bullet glanced off Meryl's left shoulder, barely missing Divi's head. Despite the pain Meryl kept firing and soon the once great army of bandits dissolved, overtaken easily when they were taken by surprise by the three skillful girls.

Those three sank to their knees and rested against the jeep; hands, arms and breaths trembling with a yet to be calmed excitement.

"Is everyone okay?" Divi asked through gasps.

"I need some –gauze. I got hit in the shoulder." Meryl heaved.

"Meryl?" Milly asked worriedly. Divi groaned as she got up to get the first aid kit.

"It's nothing." Meryl tried to reassure. "It just glanced off -nothing else."

After the wound had been treated and dressed [the girls realized just how fortunate they were to have only Meryl harmed], Divi asked "Do you think they'll come back?"

Meryl groaned. "They've already learned their lesson. We've still got enough to teach them again if they're stupid enough to come back." _Just barely_, Meryl thought. _Not enough for the government... it never was. But I won't give up. I have to get him back._

-- End Flashback --

"How long will it take to get there?" Meryl asked, replacing her bandage.

"Probably 4 hours." Divi answered.

"4 hours? By the car? At your speed? I thought you said it would only take 10 hours to _walk_ there."

"Okay, fine, so I can't measure time. It's still 4 hours to get there --by car --at my speed."

"We should get going, then." Meryl sighed. _If you're not there, Vash... after all that I've been through... I'm going to be really pissed off._

* * *

"This is the **real** Vash the Stampede!" Lani yelled at the woman sitting serenely in the front desk of the main government building.

"Yes, I'm sure of that." The woman replied robotically. "But I'm afraid the government needs more verification than just your word."

"I--"

"60 billion double dollars is a large amount of money the government cannot give freely unless we have complete and valid verification that the tied-up, spiky-haired skinny blond in your possession is the **real** Vash the Stampede." The woman glared over her black-framed glasses at the leather clad woman.

Lani hung her head in defeat. "Alright," she began civilly. "What sort of verification do we need?"

"At least 3 authentic witnesses from either or both July and Augusta, and/or those 2 girls that the Bernardelli Insurance Society sent out to watch over him." Vash looked up and almost laughed at the irony. "But by the looks of it they haven't been doing their job." The woman added, speaking to herself and shaking her head.

Although he was forced into leaving the girls this time, Vash still felt bad. The girls tried hard enough to keep him safe, this wasn't fair for them. _They'll come for me soon, I know it._ He thought confidently.

Wait.

If they did come for him... they would actually be helping his abductors get the $$60 billion they didn't deserve if they verified his identity.

That was bad.

"How are you going to believe me if I get those three witnesses?" Lani questioned, still peeved over not getting her money.

"You need not get them yourself. We have our own." The front desk lady replied.

"Oh, great! Things are finally turning out for the better! Can we get them to prove the guy I have is the real Vash the Stampede?"

"I'm sorry," the woman apologized mechanically, smiling. "They are currently unavailable, as it is their lunch break."

Lani sighed. "When are they coming back?"

The woman answered "In an hour or so."

An hour. This was one of the many, many times Vash wished the girls far, far away... but when he did they showed up at the worst of times and places...

Lani heaved a great sigh and sat next to the silent and thus worrisome gunman.

* * *

15 minutes later the front doors opened and 2 men walked in, dragging a whining, scared blond man tied up and duct taped.

"We forgot duct tape," Lani told her brothers.

"Yeah. That would have been useful." Billy or Bobby replied, sighing. Vash glared silently.

"We have Vash the Stampede!" One of the 2 men who walked in announced.

"What?!" Lani yelled, jumping to her feet. "**We** have Vash the Stampede!"

"I'm sure you're mistaken." The other new man said.

_That poor man doesn't even look remotely like me._ Vash thought, looking at the duct taped blond sympathetically.

"No matter who the real Vash the Stampede is, the both of you shall have to wait for verification." The desk lady explained calmly.

* * *

10 minutes later a rough looking man with a dark shadow casted over his face by a downward pointing black cowboy hat entered through the main doors, pulling along an unconscious, beaten-up man in a straitjacket. The unconscious man was skinny, tall and blond, but still not remotely as good-looking as Vash was.

_Are they just picking up **any** blond bandit to turn in?_ Vash thought worriedly.

The woman at the front desk did not seem surprised at all to find out there was yet another bounty hunter with yet another Vash the Stampede.

"I have the devil Humanoid Typhoon," the black cowboy hat man said gruffly to the front desk.

"I'm sorry but you're going to have to wait for verification with the rest of them." She pointed at the growing line of people sitting in the waiting section of the room. The black hatted man grumbled something underneath his breath, but the desk lady didn't mind nor care.

* * *

30 minutes later the door opened with a loud bang. "Filthy spiders! I command you to release me! Get your disease infested hands off of me or suffer my wrath!" That sounded familiar. Vash looked up to find a very recognizable white-haired blond being held in a death grip by 4 other men. "I am **not** Vash the Stampede!" He growled.

"Shuddup. We seen yur fancy gun tricks. We know yur Vash." One of the men said.

"How dare you compare me to that worthless, incapable, bumbling idiot not worthy of being a member of a superior species?!"

"Knives!" Vash yelled, smiling widely at his brother. Knives turned his head as best he could and groaned. Then, in realization, blinked and laughed his usual evil laugh. "Where's your puny spider to save you **now**, brother?! Bwahahaha!"

Lani leaned over to Vash. "Good looks and weirdness run in the family?" She asked with an eyebrow raised.

The door opened again and the lady at the front desk stood up to take a look. An expression of relief washed over her blank stare. "Will the real Vash the Stampede please stand up?" XD

All of the bounty hunters forced their prey onto their feet. (Somehow the man wearing the black cowboy hat managed to make it appear as if his unconscious bounty stood by holding up a strap on the straitjacket.) 3 people walked in -1 man and 2 women. Of those women 1 looked very familiar in her purple dress and big bows.

"Elizabeth!" Vash cried out, an expression of joy on his face.

The door opened again.

Elizabeth looked at him in horror. "Elizabeth, my love! You've come to save me! You can get me out of here, right? I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!" Vash pleaded, on his knees groveling in front of the female plant engineer.

"I'm so sorry, but--" Elizabeth began before Knives' evil laughter cut her off.

"You are **so** screwed now, Vash!" Knives laughed psychotically.

Vash turned his head toward the door and found a very, **very** pissed-off Meryl. _Oh... Crap,_ he thought. Time to grovel in front of someone else. "Insurance girl!" Oops, wrong thing to say. Her expression worsened tenfold and her right hand twitched dangerously close to her cape. Vash wormed his way to her, put on his best starry eyes and knelt before her. "You've come to rescue me!"

She glared at him and he laughed nervously.

"Actually, I'm afraid I can't do that, **Mr.** Vash the Stampede..." She tried to cross her arms but winced at the pain in her left shoulder.

"What happened to your shoulder?!" Vash shouted after noticing her wince and finding the reddened gauze. He bolted upright and his rope bindings miraculously fell off. "Who did that to you?! I'll kill him!!"

"Oh really, Vash?" Knives smirked.

Vash turned around, annoyed. "I was exaggerating, Knives."

Alarms rang off. The lady at the front desk pushed the security button after so many people (especially the insurance girl) confirmed that the goofy looking blond in red was truly Vash the Stampede.

"Oh." Said the goofy looking blond in red. "Crap." He turned on his heel toward the exit, picked up the surprised short woman by her waist, slung her over his shoulder, and ran like there was no tomorrow.

"Idiot," Knives huffed after a short period of stunned silence from everyone in the main government building. Agents from nowhere filled the room and poured out the building in pursuit of the Humanoid Typhoon.

More stunned silence.

Lani raised her hand. "I found him first!" She declared.

* * *

As if having the government agents chase him and an insurance girl pound on his back wasn't bad enough, a voice on the citywide intercom announced "Vash the Stampede is inside the city! I repeat: Vash the Stampede is loose inside our city!" And so the entire population of Farland started coming after him.

"DAMN IT!" He cried (literally), picking up speed in his already fast sprint.

"VASH!" Meryl screamed, trying to pound harder on his back to get his attention. "**Put me down!**"

It was probably a bad idea for him to stop to put her down, but with his hand clutching her butt it was just a teeny bit uncomfortable for Meryl.

Vash turned the corner into an empty street and slowed down to a stop. He gently placed the small woman back onto her feet, then he sat down on the ground, taking in heaving gasps. "Must... stop..."

"Uh, Vash? They're still chasing us, you know that...?" Meryl asked anxiously.

Vash looked up at her. "They're chasing **me**."

"We still have to go." She extended her hands out to him.

"No, you stay here," he said, letting her pull him up (with great effort). "You stay safe here," he panted. "I'll come find you later, I promise."

She sighed. "Vash, I don't--"

Then he kissed her.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go in?" Milly asked worriedly. "It sounds like a citywide riot in there!"

Divi and Milly waited outside the fortressed city, hearing the ebb and flow of shouting voices calling out Vash's name.

"I don't know," Divi sighed. "It sounds like they're having fun in there." She said sarcastically. "I'm getting tired of waiting. I thought she'd be back by now, but obviously she had some trouble." Divi jumped out of her jeep. "Ms. Milly, can you drive when we come back out?"

Milly nodded. "Be safe, Ms. Divi!"

"I'll try." Divi waved back as she ran to the large entrance doors. She pushed in one successfully. "I guess even the guards are going after Vash," she said out loud. She walked inside the tumultuous city and smiled. "Lord..." She began. "Please let me make it out of here alive."

It was at that same exact moment a certain golden-blond gunman made the same exact prayer.

* * *

"Why do you people always have rocket launchers?!" Vash cried, in near hysterics as a building exploded behind him. These events eerily echoed that of Inepril City.

"I shouldn't have kissed her," he giggled to himself as he ran top speed away from the heavily armed mob behind him. "She's gonna kill me when I get out." Another rocket flew over his head and more large pieces of building came falling down above his head. "If I make it out of here alive!" He shrieked like a frightened schoolgirl and jumped side to side, avoiding the fallen debris.

Vash turned the corner again and the narrow streets were no longer narrow. He had run into a large, open-air, grassless field where he met face to face with another angry mob. His ears picked up the sounds of trampling feet of many, many people behind him. He was trapped.

"Oh, shi--"

"DAAAAADDIIIEEEE!" Vash turned to his right to see Divi flying at him.

"Don't shoot!" Shouted one of the city dwellers. "You'll hit the child!"

Vash sighed after being tackled to the ground. "That was a really stupid move, Divi."

Divi groaned. "Come on, **dad**, lighten up."

"Didn't you hear her?! She's the devil spawn of Vash the Stampede!" Shouted another resident.

Vash sighed again. "See?"

"Listen to me, citizens of Farland! Put down your weapons!" A megaphone boomed over the raucous crowd. **Meryl's** megaphone. With **her** amplified voice. She can hide many things underneath that magical cape, can't she? She managed to clear a small path as she screamed at the people. "The Bernardelli Insurance Society cannot pay any claims you make on property which you yourselves have wrought destruction! Please stop trying to destroy Vash the Stampede. Your lives and property are on the line!"

Someone in the crowd shouted "She's in league with the Stampede! Get her!"

Meryl growled and got in his face. "I am a representative of the Bernardelli Insurance Society and I'm warning you that my company will not pay for property that was damaged by you rocket-launching idiots because you were chasing around Vash the Stampede!" She yelled at him, still using the megaphone to amplify her voice.

The crowd fell silent.

"Is that true?!" A woman shouted from the middle of the mob.

"Yes, ma'am, it's true. It's written in the Bernardelli Policy in clause 42.3974 that 'properties damaged by misuse or owner or owners therein forfeit the right to claim any property damage insured by the Bernardelli Insurance Society'!"

The crowd pondered that for a while.

Then someone shouted "HEY! He's getting away!"

Vash had to laugh. Meryl had managed to both distract the angry city dwellers with her insurance legalese **and** clear the path for him and Divi (his newly declared devil spawn daughter).

God, he loved that insurance girl.

* * *

What I meant to say at the end of chapter three was that I've drawn a picture of Divi on my website if anyone wants to see. Check out my profile because FF.net won't let me post up my website thingie ; It's under Media/Images.

Yep. 3 choices: a pencil sketch in Roughs, you know what's in the Inked, and a spiffy GIMP-colored pic is in the Originals. Yay.


	5. Improbability, Agents and Square One

Summary: And finally... just what **is** Better Than Ice Cream? Hee.

_Thoughts_, Author's notes, **emphasis**, title inspired by the Ice Cream song by Sarah MacLachlan.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Trigun. That's as far as it goes. :(

Pre-Story Notes: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to finish this! I didn't want to story to end! ::cries:: Anyway, that's not really a valid excuse. How about I couldn't find my notebook because my mom cleaned the house and reorganized everything? Another thing I'm really sorry for is not including more of Knives. I like my version, too.

And I ended with incredible sap. Or fluff. Both, probably. :)

Oh, and I have an actual summary this time. But it does this story no justice.

* * *

vashluver1: This chapter is especially fluffy! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
angelarms: ::bows:: Big thanks for reviewing all my chappies! And sorry I couldn't really include Knives without making this chapter even weirder...  
  
PolePeeps25: I'm so sorry! My Knives won't pop up anytime soon! ::cries:: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Pyro: ::author looks outside window and sees dark figure staring back:: Erm, Hi... Staccato... is it? ::grabs hairdryer:: Back, you! I know how to use this! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
DecoyNeko: Yes, Knives getting attacked by kuroneko is hilarious. I'm a sucker for V/M too! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Neptune Butterfly: I see anything with Kuronekosama is good. I will note that. I'm sorry he dislocated his tail! Thanks for reviewing!

* * *

"Oh, no!" They've started up again!" Milly cried, slumping over the car door. For a while Milly thought that Meryl had convinced the city of Farland to stop chasing after Mr. Vash, but then all of a sudden the city started rioting once more. "They'll never get out now." Milly moaned.

The black cat napping in the passenger's seat woke. "Nyao!" It mewed up at Milly.

"What's that, Mr. Kitty? You want to help Mr. Vash and Meryl and Ms. Divi?"

"Nyao!" It mewed happily. It jumped over Milly and shot off into the city.

"Mr. Kitty!" Milly shouted after the cat in vain. "It's not fair." She said to herself. "Why do I have to miss out on all the fun?"

* * *

"What's the plan **now**, Mr. Vash?!" Divi yelled angrily as she did her best to keep up with the long-legged blond.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!"

"Think faster!" Divi growled.

Vash turned his head at her for a moment, amazed at how Meryl-like Divi seemed.

Suddenly a white flash crossed the path Vash and Divi were running in. "I AM **NOT** STAMPEDE'S WOMAN!" Meryl shouted as she blazed by. With a mob of her won trailing behind, Vash and Divi had no choice but to follow Meryl.

"How long before we outrun them?!" Divi asked, shouting above the noise of the crowd following.

"A really, REALLY long time!" Vash shouted back.

Meryl thought she heard familiar voices behind her, but didn't bother to take a peek back to find out who they were.

"So..." Vash panted as he ran up beside Meryl. "What's up with you?"

"THEY THINK I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!" Meryl screeched.

"Oh." _Is it really all that bad?_ He thought worriedly in his head.

"There they are!" A voice on one of the roofs shouted. "Eat rocket, demons!"

"AHH!!!" Screamed the 3 fugitives as they leapt out of the way just in the nick of time, the rubble falling from the walls of the destroyed buildings conveniently creating a blockade from the bounty-hungry city dwellers.

That dealt with the people from behind, not the mobs coming from both sides.

Another rocket was fired and a sudden black mass with fur appeared right in front of the lagging Divi's foot. Seconds later an explosion sounded off and chunks of the fortress wall fell down.

Meryl and Vash looked behind them but saw nothing but broken concrete blocks. They looked at each other.

"Oh, no." They said in unison.

* * *

"Why does the ground have to be so hard?!" Divi whined, clutching her smashed and aching right breast. "Ow!"

"Nyaaaooo!" Screamed in pure agony the black furry mass behind Divi. She turned around and found the familiar black cat on its back, twitching to its right side. Divi looked beyond the injured feline and found a mountain of broken wall. To her left was the windowless backside of a building. To her front another gigantic pile of concrete chunks. To her right was an improbable gaping hole to the outside of the city.

Divi blinked. Several times.

"Wow. Maybe Milly **was** right about me being lucky... or maybe you're the lucky one," she smiled at the cat, picking it up gently. "Are you alright?" Divi asked, getting a soft affirmative mew in response. "Let's go find Milly, then."

* * *

"Come on, Vash, we're so close to the gates!" Meryl shouted.

The Humanoid Typhoon looked behind him in hopes of finding his "daughter".

And then alarms rang off. "Stop right there," a male voice boomed over the city intercom. "We have you surrounded."

Vash and Meryl stopped in their tracks and saw the government agents encircling them and guarding the city gates. The agents were oddly uniformed in black suits with black ties, black sunglasses and weird transmitter things in one ear. Every one of them had a pistol aimed right at the pair. Matrix meets Trigun?

"I told you!" A person from the Farland crowd behind the agents yelled. "That girlie** is** Stampede's woman!"

Another random person added "She could be the mother!"

Meryl growled in embarrassment (and also because she was highly insulted... She didn't look old!) and was about to storm off to those persons had not Vash stopped her.

"Don't," he pleaded, smiling nervously. "You'll just provoke them."

Damn straight she was going to provoke them! Provoke them into thinking twice about her. Why would she **ever** want to be Vash the Stampede's –wait, he wasn't even **trying** to deny those allegations?

Meryl blinked at him, too confused to be angry.

A shot fired suddenly. Vash grabbed Meryl and covered her protectively.

A large, metallic THUD resounded through the wide arena of Farland Vash and Meryl were currently located in. Vash blinked and made sure nothing hurt, then looked down at Meryl, who looked shocked and slightly embarrassed –but not in pain. He looked up at the gates with apparently metallic doors and found a large, embossed "X" in the middle of the left gate.

4 more shots followed soon after, 1 more hitting the left gate, 2 hitting the right and the final one hitting right in between. A rusty screech served as the only warning of the doors' failure to keep upright.

Vash and Meryl were right in the path of its fall.

It landed with a loud crash and kicked up a storm of sand. When the dust cleared the city people found the 2 doors did not fall properly at all... the 2 pieces fell away from each other, creating a "V" with an angle wide enough to just barely miss the renegade pair.

Two blurry figures ran from the city.

"Don't worry!" One of the residents shouted. "I'll take care of them!"

He tried to aim the rocket launcher but another resident yelled "No, you idiot, you'll just destroy the city!" And pushed away the weapon. Unfortunately, it fired.

No one was harmed, but the only official opening to the city was covered with rubble.

* * *

"How many missiles can they have?!" Vash screamed, running toward the jeep with Meryl's hand in his death grip.

A blast of rock spewed out as both Vash and Meryl dove into the backseat of the jeep (Or rather, Vash dove and pulled Meryl with him). After the explosion subsided Milly started the jeep and Divi turned in the front passenger seat to look at the couple and her eyes widened in surprise.

Meryl sat up on Vash's stomach.

They looked at each other half a second longer than they needed to before they realized what had happened.

"You're bleeding." Both said simultaneously.

"Huh?" Vash asked, feeling a small stinging sensation right above his left eye. He touched that place gingerly and found blood on his glove fingers. "Oh." How did that happen? Oh. Explosion. Rock. Bad luck.

"Where's the first aid kit?" Meryl asked aloud as she searched the backseat for the kit, oblivious to where she was sitting.

"Here." Divi held up for Meryl the white metal box with a red cross.

"Divi, you're okay!"

"Yep." Divi smiled.

"What happened?" Vash asked.

Divi pondered that herself. "The kitty saved me." She held up the black kitten to show to the bewildered blond.

Meryl opened the kit and began to dress Vash's injury after a long pause.

"You should treat your shoulder first," Vash protested, pointing to the reddened area with fresh blood seeping into the gauze.

"You have a **head** injury. I think that takes precedence over a superficial shoulder wound." Meryl growled.

"You shouldn't have to worry about me, I've had a lot of these before," Vash smiled, wincing slightly as it dawned on him that he had set himself up for a retort from that small insurance girl on how those head injuries contributed to his idiocy.

Meryl smirked. "That doesn't stop them from bleeding, Vash." The outlaw smiled as he finally let down his defenses. The small woman treated his hurt tenderly, and the only thing Vash found himself wanting to do was smile.

Milly looked up briefly to the rear view mirror to spy on the unsuspecting couple. She smiled brightly when she saw that Vash didn't seem to mind where Meryl was sitting at all.

* * *

The bell rang above the double door entrance of the shop Meryl and Vash walked through in the exact same fashion only a week earlier.

"Deja vú." Said an alerted Divi.

"Hopefully not everything will happen again," Meryl sighed. A full week later she still had no clue how they made it out of the government city alive. A full week later she still had no clue why Vash had kissed her.

She was taken completely off guard by that kiss. He had leaned over, cut her off thoroughly from speaking, pulled back, smiled at her, and took off as if Hell's dogs were biting at his heels.

He had never bothered to explain. Well, maybe it was to get her to stop thinking for a few minutes. If that was his goal, he had sure succeeded well.

And it wasn't like she could ask him back then... What kind of obsessive freak would think about stuff like that when she was being chased by a large, bazooka-armed angry mob? Then again, what kind of obsessive freak would still be thinking about a little thing like a kiss a week later?

"Hey, Divi!" Vash greeted the teenager.

"Hi, Daddy!" Divi beamed.

"Isn't that getting kind of old?" Vash sighed.

"No." The girl giggled. "Okay, so we look nothing alike. I take more after Meryl."

Meryl looked up and glared at the girl.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Said Vash. Meryl turned to Vash, perplexed.

"Anyway, where's Milly?" Asked Divi, putting in front of the now Stampede duo a banana sundae.

Meryl sighed, taking a spoonful of ice cream. "She's conveniently taken time off to see her family."

Divi smiled. "Well, you can't blame her. All of us nearly got killed. Twice." She looked at Vash. "More so, even."

"Yeah, but none of us are dead." Meryl said quickly. "Which means we can protect ourselves," she clarified to both Divi and Vash before he could start blaming himself.

"Erm, yeah. Now that I think about it, it was actually kind of fun!"

"Fun?" Vash asked. "You have some serious thrill issues."

Divi smiled again. "Yeah. My boyfriend will have problems trying to entertain me." A black cat strolled up onto the counter, laid on his back, and started pawing at the orange seahorse pendant Divi wore.

"Hey, Mr. Cat," Vash greeted. Promptly the cat flipped over onto its paws and jumped on Vash's face.

Great. Even Divi had a boyfriend. It wasn't that Meryl could never get one for herself, it was just that the current object of her affections could never love her back seriously. And if he could why would he go after a scary, short, "bitchy" insurance claims investigator when he, being the legend that he was, could have probably any woman he wanted if he actually tried? Then again, that guy had **major** issues. Like being Vash the Stampede. Like being a Plant. Like having a black cat hanging off his face and wrestling with it to get it off.

"Um, Ms. Meryl...? Shouldn't you help Vash?"

Help Vash? All Meryl ever wanted to do now was help that humanoid typhoon idiot. That was why she stood her ground when she tried to protect him from Monev, that was why she came back to him after he disappeared for 2 years, and that was why she got between him and the gun when that town resident tried to kill him. Didn't last week prove that too? She had loyalty and dedication, didn't he see that? Or was that too "clingy"?

"Insurance Girl! Please help!"

Now that Meryl thought about it, that nickname was... sort of cute. Taking another bite of the sundae, she thought it would actually be an adorable term of endearment.

If she ever was "dear" to him.

No matter. If he still refused to call her by name (which he proved he knew, as he exhibited that knowledge when he told her the meaning of it), "Insurance Girl" served well enough. Only from him, though.

She was getting really desperate now, wasn't she?

Meryl sighed and took another bite of the banana sundae before she was run into by the tall blond, who finally managed to fling off the offensive black mass of fur and claws back to the teenage owner.

"Gah," he heaved after the exercise. "Cats hate me! Especially the black ones! I swear, no matter where I go there's always one following me, it's really creepy!"

_Am I creepy for following you too?_ She asked mentally. Meryl turned to him and pulled out her handkerchief when she saw the newly formed scratches on his face. She didn't know how it would really help, but she didn't care because she was touching him and that was reason enough. He felt warm, especially since he was blushing. That's odd, why would he be blushing?

It was clear to him that she wasn't going to listen to him ramble. She had totally ignored him when he was attacked by that cat, but seeing how she didn't react at all when he bumped into her, she must have been in deep thought. And besides, he probably deserved that attack in some way in her mind.

So why was she taking care of him personally right now? And with her "special" handkerchief, too. The same one from after the second sand steamer incident :) She was so close, he could feel the softness of her touch, the heat radiating off her delicate fingers – well, the last may just have been from him because he was blushing.

"It's everywhere, even at the hotels..." Vash continued, out of fear that Meryl would start asking questions about his odd behavior. "And sometimes I see a kitten with it so there's definitely more than one of them because this is a male and usually kittens follow around their mother, right?" How was it that she could make him babble like a fool?

She kept her gaze steady, and with the questioning look in her eyes he knew she **had** been listening to every word he said.

"Vash?"

In that moment he suddenly wanted to feel her arms around him, to hold her close, and to kiss her again! Once wasn't enough, it would never be, and a second one would well be worth the consequences. He had never meant to kiss her back in the government city, but since he had he hadn't been able to get it off his mind.

"Vash?" Meryl asked again, more worriedly as his entire demeanor changed in an instant. Before he was rambling on happily, but then something struck him and he ceased speaking. He had his mouth slightly open and he gazed with an intensity that silently spoke multitudes of what she dared not name.

Next he simply put his arms around her waist, pulled her to him, and kissed her. In other words, he got what he wanted.

Shocked beyond measure Meryl almost pulled back. But it was he who ended the kiss.

_That may have been an incredibly stupid move,_ he thought to himself. So much for trying to be subtle again...

"I'm sorry," Vash sighed.

"What are you sorry about?" Meryl asked. It was now her turn to blush. Well, the only thing she was sorry about was that he didn't explain why. "Vash," she began cautiously. "Why did you kiss me?" _Again_, she wanted to add.

Confession time. He could almost see the miniature white church being shoved in his face. He didn't really want to admit it—now without knowing how she felt about it first. So he delayed the only way he knew how.

"I wanted to?" He smiled.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why did you want to?"

"Because I thought it'd be nice," he continued.

"So it wasn't because..." Okay. Stop, Meryl.

"Because what?" He saw something in her eyes and smiled to himself.

What have you gotten yourself into, Stryfe?! "Um, nevermind."

He raised an eyebrow. "You mean to say, 'so it wasn't because you love me,' or something like that, right?" She could only blush and face away from him, not able to escape the embrace he still held her in. "Right." He smiled.

"I know it sounds pathetic--"

"Wait." Vash interrupted. "Don't say anything. But consider this: what if I did?"

Meryl turned back to him, totally caught off guard.

He loved her?

Through the reprimands, the insults, and her controlling nature he still loved her?

There was only one way to deal with that.

She flung her arms around him and kissed him back. It was Vash's turn to be caught off guard. "Wow," said he after they broke their kiss. "I wasn't expecting that," he laughed sheepishly.

"Well, you told me not to say anything, what else could I do?" Meryl smirked. She leaned forward and rested her head against his chest, sighing as he tightened the embrace.

"This feels nice," he said quietly. She snuggled closer.

"You kids," Divi laughed, rolling her eyes. "Your ice cream is melting."

Meryl closed her eyes. She could skip the dessert. This... was much better than ice cream.

* * *

XD Yay, it's DONE! [Well, maybe not... hmm...] A long-winded story, sorry! ::smiles nervously:: I was trying to get this story finished in/under 5 chapters, since it was supposed to be a **short** story, but I tend to keep rambling, as I'm doing now. Hee.

Thank all of you beautiful people for enjoying (or trying to) my story! I love you all!


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